Saturday, September 6, 2008
i am a hostage, to my own humanity
self-detained & forced to live in this mess i've made
and all i'm asking is for you to do what you can with me
but i cant ask you to give what you already gave.
i've given up on doing this alone now.
guess i failed and i'm ready to be shown how
you told me the way & now im trying to get there
& this life sentence that i'm serving
i admit that im every bit deserving
but the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
ive given up on giving up slowly
im blending in so you wont even know me
apart from this whole world that shares my fate
this one last bullet you mention
it's my one last shot at redemption
cause i know to live, you must give your life away
be my escape. 2 more mths to go.left my house 3 times in total today. and i felt so tired&sleepy but i cldnt quite get myself to sleep cause i scared i might miss the time to meet my friends. so i stopped myself from sleeping. first i left house to meet shuyi at bb mrt to pass her my laptop since she needed it. & she havent left her place so i sat for abt 25 mins. finally she came & we thought of going to study later, since i cant get myself to study when im at home.
then i went to meet valentia at about 3-4? cause shes sooo love to give me a bottle of happiness capsules. she knows ive been feeling down lately. so she came by to give me these msgs in a bottle so i can read those capsules when im sad. thanks dr ho(: ur love really. thanks for all those goodmorning msgs too(: they're really encouraging:D but dont waste sms alr i know your kind intentions(: we went to bbmacs for a while to say hi to my sister&her friends and also to check out their mugging session. pls they look more like they were gg for some slumber party. they each brought a soft toy and jacket. seriously -.- reminds me of the time when rachel & i stayed over at macs.
in the end shuyi cldnt make it to study so i rot my butt off at home. felt so ultra tired by 5+. but i had to meet sy to pass him his books. in the end he zoomzoomzoomed down. superheroes are like that. they reach within a nanosecond. and amazingly, he found his way to my house. so i didnt have to walk far & i heard an 'amanda!' passed him his books. hes so tan, even tanner than tan. haha swimming boy. after that, i know i can go home to sleep already. butttttttt, shuyi wants to pass me back my lappy. so i asked her to meet my sis instead. BUT, at that same instant, my sis came ringing the doorbell. & i know i had to go out again. but nicely, she wanted to send weizheng off. so she sunbian help me meet shuyi. eventually, i cldnt sleep already.
i'm so glad that i have so many cutenicekind friends/siblings whom i can count on . but be rest assured!(: i can be someone you might wanna count on too:D so so, yah thanks (:
you hold the key
won't you keep my secret for me? 6.9.08
